Depression affects1 in 5 people at some point in their lives. Chances are you know someone who is currently living with the illness. Or you will know someone in the future. As their friend or loved one, it’s natural to feel powerless, frustrated, anxious, confused, conflicted, defeated, and unequipped. To help navigate the foggy journey that it is, here are a few Do’s and Don’ts for helping friends and family who are struggling with depression.
1. DO listen without judgment.
Make space for your friend or loved one to talk about their experience. Let them know “I’m here to listen” or “I want to better understand what you’re going through right now” and “I’m here for you despite what depression might be telling you.”
We often feel compelled to jump in or say something to fix things or change the subject. Try to refrain from those urges, and give your friend or loved one some judgment-free airtime without offering a “solution.”
2. DO express empathy, encouragement, and support.
When you do respond, do so in a way that lets them know you’re listening. Expressing empathy is letting them know you have an idea what they’re feeling. For example, you can try saying something like, “I’m really hearing how stuck /lost /paralyzed /defeated /dejected /wounded /broken you’re feeling right now.”
By letting someone who is depressed know you have some idea of the magnitude of their pain, you can help them feel understood, supported, and validated. It’s also important to let them know you care and are here for them. For example, it can be helpful to say something like, “I’m here to support you. If you can envision a role you’d like me to play in this challenging time, let me know and I’ll do my best to fulfill that. If not, know that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
3. DO help them find resources.
Navigating the plethora of health care degrees—GPs, NDs, LPCs, LCSWs and LMHCs—can be overwhelming for those of us who don’t identify as depressed. Imagine how it feels for someone who’s functioning at 20% with little motivation or concentration!
Connecting with mental health professionals can be an ominous task. Help make things possibly less daunting for your loved one by identifying resources in their area. A good place to start? Their GP or ND. Other potentially beneficial resources include a psychotherapist, depression support group, and your local crisis line. CONTINUE READING
