The Child Meditation Miracle: Can a 3-year-old really reach a Zen-like state? Or is it just a good way shut him up? Gwenne Watkins on the growing ranks of parents and gurus who say child meditation calms kids.
You could say that Amdo, a sweet, calm, and curious boy who lives in Brooklyn with his mother Jae, has been meditating since before he learned to walk.
As a toddler, he was fascinated by his mother’s meditation practice. He crawls into her lap and sits with her when she meditates in the mornings. Jae, a book conservator who’s been practicing Soto Zen meditation as a discipline for four years, soon begun giving Amdo gentle guidance on the principles of meditation. He was already applying it to his life.
“I tell him, ‘Feel what it feels like to feel a tingle in your fingertips,’” says Jae. “It’s not a technique, but you have to be really still. There was one time I was really irritable, and spontaneously Amdo was like, ‘Mom, feel your fingertips!’”
One psychologist says that while “not all kids will be able to do meditation,” she’s finds that “many kids” can “learn meditative breathing techniques that help them regulate and not lose control.”
Merriam-Webster defines the act of meditating as “to focus one’s thoughts on, reflect on, or ponder over.” Which means that the definition of the opposite of meditation might be: “being a toddler.” But some parents are embracing the idea that meditation can calm their rambunctious young children.
Not everyone buys it. Deepak Chopra, the household name in gurus, writes on his website that “there’s no hard and fast rule” for meditation readiness,. He names “8 or 10 years of age” as the earliest conceivable moment. Youngsters have less capacity for extreme concentration, body awareness, or understanding the abstract concepts (visualization, loving-kindness) associated with some meditation practices.
Parents:
Parents apparently have a different visualization. for example, serene, sedate children who learn to love an activity that keeps them quiet and still for long stretches of time. As such, many meditation centers offer programs for children as young as 7. Meditation instructors tell The Daily Beast that there’s an increasing demand for courses aimed at the pre-K set.
Experts say there are elements of meditation that apply directly to the type of frustration that very young children tend to feel. “From 2 to 6, children undergo many changes and have little control over their environments.” “Sometimes, their problematic behaviors are directly linked to that.” Although, “not all kids will be able to do meditation.” She finds that “many kids” can “learn meditative breathing techniques that help them regulate and not lose control.”
Even if your child doesn’t aspire to join a monastery someday, they can still appreciate the principles of mediation. Renee Skuba’s son Lucien, who turns 4 in a few months, is what Renee diplomatically describes as “very active.”
“Maybe it’s because he’s a boy, or because we don’t have outdoor space,” she says of Lucien’s bouncing-off-the-walls energy level. “A city kid is different from a suburban kid.” To help Lucien cope, we began doing breathing exercises and chants with him. “At nighttime, when he’s really active and not calming down, we’ll do sounds.” “Take a deep breath, fill up like a balloon—now buzz like a bee.” Skuba goes through a small litany of sounds—bzzz, hisss, sssh, mmm. Raising her arms with the breath, then lowering them with the sound.
“When the breath is really short, the mind is really active,”
She’ll sometimes pull Lucien aside to take some deep breaths when playdates turn into wrestling matches, “and he’ll be ready to come back and enter from a more peaceful state.” They also do a yogic chant—the prayer of peace, love, and light in lieu of a lullaby. The chanting, she says, makes bedtime a breeze by triggering a peaceful, sleepy state. “It’s like Pavlov’s dog.”
But what if you’re the type of parent who likes relaxing with coffee than deep-breathing and mindfulness? Can you still teach your toddler to meditate in good conscience? Yes, says Anne Kenan, who teaches a meditation class for 3- to 6-year-olds at New York City’s Shambhala Center.
However, it probably won’t take unless you do it with them. “You don’t have to be a seasoned professional. You can start anytime.” There’s no need to be too disciplined or structured about meditation when it comes to children. Her own son Rhese, 3, will only sit “for a minute or two,” but, that’s enough. “It’s more getting them familiar with the practice of it. And practicing being still and being quiet.” “They’re not meditating in the sense that they’re following their breath or using a technique. They’re just sitting there. Which is great—that’s how you start.”
