When someone has broken a physical boundary, it’s usually easy to tell. These boundaries relate to your body, physical space and privacy. For instance, someone might cross your physical boundary when they stand too close or barge into your room without knocking. However, emotional and mental boundaries tend to be more subtle and tougher to spot. How do you know if someone has crossed these limits? Here are six telltale signs, along with how to tell someone they’ve broken your boundary.
When someone has broken a physical boundary, it’s usually easy to tell. These boundaries relate to your body, physical space and privacy. For instance, someone might cross your physical boundary when they stand too close or barge into your room without knocking. However, emotional and mental boundaries tend to be more subtle and tougher to spot. How do you know if someone has crossed these limits?
Here are six telltale signs, along with how to tell someone they’ve broken your boundary.
1. You justify someone’s bad behavior.
According to Jan Black, author of Better Boundaries: a lesser-noticed sign is when you make excuses or justify others’ bad treatment of you. She gave these examples:
- “Don’t worry; Brad only treats me badly when he’s stressed.
- Mary doesn’t mean to be rude, she’s just comfortable around me.
- Yes, Sheila makes fun of me but I know she loves me.”
According to Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW, a relationship expert and author of The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide for Overwhelmed Women, another boundary violation is when you feel shame for no apparent reason.
For instance, let’s say a stay-at-home mom designates one night per week as her personal time. Her husband agrees to take care of their child every Wednesday night. However, he calls her several times while she’s out to say that their child misses her, Hanks said. CONTINUE READING